I"m @ the police

I"m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine 

sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin 

me 4 taking the piss

i m at the police

i m at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case 

against me "possession of good looks".i"m doomed! i need 

someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

i hereby place

i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 -  distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex  appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom